(via Clancy at CultureCat)
For this, you go to Google and type "[your first name] needs"... I got the following:
Jonathan needs to be redeemed, or made completely evil. (They're both tempting...)
Jonathan needs to draw up a business plan to demonstrate to potential backers that his idea is a sound investment.
Jonathan needs to restructure his portfolio.
Jonathan needs to start drinking more beer.
Jonathan needs to leave.
Jonathan needs some help with healthy eating and exercise, so Kathleen casts his little Brother as an aide. (Well, I'll agree with the first part, but I don't have a little brother...)
Jonathan needs to stop by and do some landscaping. (OK, but only if you don't make me mow the lawn.)
Jonathan needs to have the sh*t beat out of him. (And I know who's willing to do it...)
Jonathan needs to refocus his life as well as his career. (That's almost as harsh as the previous one!)
Jonathan needs to be sent to La Paz for an electrocardiogram at an estimated cost of 1,650.00 pesos. (Can't I just do it at the Veteran's Hospital in town?)
What Jonathan needs is some kind of crash course in how to come to grips with what has become of his life. (Best advice so far...)
Jonathan needs to be a man and own up to his own mistakes. (Maybe that's what the crash course would teach me?)
Jonathan needs to learn the definition of a "clean lead."
Jonathan needs to find a pit filled with punji sticks. (And to learn the definition of "punji sticks"...)
Jonathan needs a punch in the face...seriously. (What is it with these people?)
Jonathan needs to be struck down hard because of his actions. (Ouch!)
Jonathan needs some love cuz he's been spurned by an unfeeling Hollywood. (Especially if they're the folks beating the sh*t out of me, punching me in the face, and striking me down hard...)
jonathan needs his beauty sleep. (Amen!)